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A: A swimming race. Q: What kind of fish can't swim? A: A dead one. Q: What is a polar bear's favorite stroke?

1 – Lazy Cows

A: Blubber-fly! Q: What do you call a competitive swimmer who just broke up with his girlfriend? A: Homeless Q: What detergent do swimmers use to wash their wet suit? A: Tide! Q: Did you hear about the slow swimmer? A: He could only do the crawl. Q: What do you call a swim team made up of blondes? A: Hydrogens. Q: Where do ghosts like to go swimming? A: Lake Eerie Q: Where do zombies like to go swimming? A: One with great seed times! Q: What do a dentist and a swim coach have in common? A: They both use drills! Q: What kind of exercises are best for a swimmer? A: Pool-ups! In which direction does a chicken swim?

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Q: How do you drown a blonde? A: Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool. Q: Why should you never swim on a full stomach?

A: Because it's easier to swim in water! Q: What kind of dive are infantry men best at?

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A: They Wave! Q: Why can't elephants go swimming? A: Because they always lose their trunks! Q: What stroke do sheep enjoy doing? A: The baaaackstroke! Q: Why won't they allow elephants in public swimming pools? A: Because they might let down their trunks.

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Q: What did the blonde write on the bottom of her swimming pool? A: No smoking! Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A: Frosted Flakes.

Top 10 Swimming Jokes

Q: How do you know if your swimming pool needs cleaning? A: Kids still pee in your pool, but they refuse to get in it first. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke We'd like you to keep it that way". Whoever wins gets to handle all of Microsoft's business. The day of the event, the Gates' estate is swamped with lawyers, all eager for the nod from the richest man in the world. Then he snaps his fingers. With that, a servant opens the door. A cow rushes out and stumbles into the pool.

In no time at all, the cow is nothing but bones. Gates says, "Any man who can swim the length of that pool shall represent me in all my business and personal dealings. Furiously he swims across the pool, hauls himself out and stands there panting. I need a lifesaver!

We'll surely be doing that after you leave. May God turn their hearts. If He can't turn their hearts, may He turn their ankles, so we'll know them by their limping! Old Irish curse.


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Read more: Our favorite jokes from Ireland's favorite comedian — Dave Allen. Related: St. Patrick's Day.

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